RAGE!

I start every single morning with a breakfast of iron. I eat nails and shit razors. I am a high-profile rock star and people would kill to be allowed the grace of sucking my tits. About 90% of the European population have my name tattooed somewhere on their skin. I have my own private jet and I use 100 euro bills as my toilet paper. Once I smoked a blunt wrapped in the original copy of Shakespeare's MacBeth.

In my spare time I am the justice given form. I put on a skin-tight moth costume and become Mothman, the dark crusader. I don't have many superpowers, but I have the Mothmobile, and a young male sidekick who likes to dress in pantyhose and call me "sweetheart". My archnemesis is called "The Poker" and his evil plots mostly center around cheating in online card games.

I have many talents. I possess a superior analytic intelligence and my knowledge about everything and all is beyond anything ever known to mankind before me. Compared to me, Machiavelli was a minor player, merely a pawn. He was dynamite but I am a tactical nuke. In fact I know the meaning of life.

I have to be completely honest with you; I have enormous balls. You have possibly seen horses pack quite a bit in the genital section, so you might have some kind of a picture in your mind about my seed-sags. My balls have their own gravitational field. 9/11 wasn't actually a terrorist attack; It was me teabagging the WTC towers.

My father is Thor, the God of Thunder, and my mother is the Hive Queen from Aliens. That mentioned you might already know why I don't dig bullshit applications.

Because you want to know more about me you can read my biography. It's called "Beowulf".

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inspired by the work of SAUL BASS, ART GOODMAN and DAVE NAGATA.
hitchcock typeface by MATT TERICH. tumblr theme by MATTHEW BUCHANAN.